sometimes i think of revolution as opposed to simple change and i dwell upon it until it becomes uninteresting. other times it will punch me in the stomach all tight breaths and waiting for tears that don't come around anymore. once upon a time i thought of things i wanted to change and laid it down as solid as as blue ink on notebook paper could be and i taped it to my door. i saw it every time i walked out of the room. i make spur of the moment rash decisions to change things. and hopefully i can let go long enough to sneak around my own back while i'm not looking.

i'm going to be twenty years old in thirtynine days.

i'm going to sit myself down and drive 90 miles per hour at a fork in the road. no course but to turn, no other place to go.