I don't know what to do about my current state of mind

This morning on the train I couldn't remember of I'd put socks on or brushed my teeth

Sadly realized I might be an atheist and tried to talk myself out of it

Got into five conversations with people who weren't there regarding the status of my job and why I'm doing what I'm doing (trying to move ahead, more money, will require closes, and probably more anxiety and misery)

I want to say "I need spring I need the thaw" and I really hope that it is true