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where do we go from here?

04 February 2003
3:42 pm

nothing is moving but everything is vibrant and wants to run faster than i can. faster than i know how.

when my room is half-way to moderately clean i can swing my leg wide towards the center of the room and step over shoes a violin case a towel a supernintendo controller [oh god don't step it's still got the power on from the game a week ago] and a waitress apron--

i can swing my leg wide towards the center of the room and trip to the doorway on toes that move too quickly for balance.

i think a lot about writing but never do anything about it. dan says to write. jon said to write but then he may have retracted it.

if i push too hard it will only strain further.. frustration and anxiety often yield poor results

(now REALLY, whose voice is this?)

but if i can relax enough to close my eyes and let the fingers fly, leave them to do what they will and push just hard enough at just the right moment and POP

that little stream has broken open to flood the whole town as it sinks below and all the people are still speaking (only now they ride on fishes instead of driving cars).