lots of late nights and later mornings driving home under clear skies or heavy traffic. go to work to make money, not enough on weekdays and on sundays it doesn't matter because you die every quarter hour when you drank too much the night before or the whole day passes in 45 minutes because sandy isn't there, i've got two more tables, and over a hundred dollars in my left right apron pocket (that's right i switched pockets because there's no way left to move my room, because i can't decide on a color for my hair [or maybe i really don't mind it], because i've got to do SOMETHING)

but the holy day is mine again, i have this sunday OFF. no work, no treacherous stress to dread, no jellies and syrups to hoard the night before. i can sleep all day in between bad movies on tv, like felice says.

enough of that.

i feel like, on average. i have about seven hundred words in my vocabulary and i just keep recycling the same garbage day in and day out.

i

i

i get the feeling something's gone wrong. the white piece is gone from the yinyng on my class ring. i had a dream last night nick and i were in tiffanys with all these people. we were all in the bathroom and he had given me all these presents and i asked him what they were for and he said he wanted a break. just a short one. and it was something i began to understand. not a bad dream, but something stressful over all because the whole thing was something i had no control in overall.

but that's the trick. to fend off that feeling that something has gone wrong before i convince myself it's true, when really, i'm still winning.

the thoughts are jumping like bare feet on hot concrete

and i can't keep it straight, so i'll stop.

this is one of those things that usually ends up getting thrown out.

what the hell.