fucking angie called me with her easily memorized phone number and we talked for an hour and a half and she works graveyard at dennys in npr and talks of side work and tips in pennies and of moving out and at the very least i will be able to take part in the unique angie experience again.

we're on our third year of friendship already. we discussed this last night, after a few months of inactivity, when we talked for an hour and a half. how we used to sit around doing nothing and complain about how we never did anything and we were going to look back in a few years and say, "hey, wasn't that great how we always sat around and stared at the walls and were boring?" and we would bemoan our lack of a movie-life. and now we talk on the phone about all the things we did, we just didn't do them often. and how she still has that dogtag on her keychain. aw.

fucking hell i don't want to go to this job anymore. mary's being nice and it's making me paranoid. i've got to get ready and not forget extra clothes because i am to meet elise and brad and someone else at muvico for the 9:45 showing of chicago so that we can partake in birthday bonding goodness (happy [belated] birthday, elise)

and do not forget sara, do not forget what you were playing.

keep going keep going. sigh. i'm following two completely different emotional patterns, and one of them is taking a detour and i'm not sure if i'm doing it all over again or if i've learned from my mistakes or misguided.. paths or. whatever. do i break or do i continue with the stoicism?

we run circles until the tide washes us free.

or freedom is having a cage too large to see captivity.

i'm okay and i'm not. and that's okay. i'm understanding this or i'm overanalyzing it so i can look at it and make sense out of it. either way, it's okay. i just don't know if it's going to hold up or if it's the time honored illusion.

blah blh ababalsdh.

yes. precisely. enough of this! time for work! viva la thiry dollars! viva la side work! ooh i get to close tonight how wonderfully exciting gee i am excited see the big smile

:D

heee. nerds. everywhere. little fruity candies uhhuh.