when was the last time i stayed up all night rearranging letters and numbers in between brackets? november. goodbye pretty fall colors, and an overdue hello to spring.. and yes, these pink and green watermelon colors return.. whatever triggers work. i'm on my third rotation of this aphex twin album and i have to be to work at eleven.

friday night's show was awesome. it's getting easier to just let things come to me while i am up there.. the easier it gets, the more i actually do, and the more i do, the more i have a chance of getting laughed at, and when that's the goal i'm trying to reach.. uh. good. whee. so. my performance is on the up & up as is the performance of the group all together.. we're into good things as long as we can keep our wits about ourselves. i still don't see comedy as something i'll continue to pursue in the distant future but i suppose now is as good a time as any to be 'reckless with my future'. i may feel old, and i may well be a solid twenty years ( that's one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen sixteen seventeen eighteen nineteen TWENTY, child) but it's nothing really. i could be like felice and get two degrees and still be a waitress. i could be like any number of people who get jobs in fields that are not the field of their degrees. and i'll spend the rest of my life fighting unemployment to make money to pay my bills, cause if i don't, i lose my place to live and it's not just me, it's a family, and it's not just a place to live, it's the life.

so now.

uh. now sleep. i'll finish this after work. it was a good weekend and i'm in a good streets-are-covered-in-fog-and-the-sun-is-coming-up [i can only wonder what it must have been like before we all got here] morning mood and there are all these good feelings left over from the weekend and they're all trying to push themselves through tiny holes that are too sleepy to comprehend.. uh.. organization of words.. i'm starting to mix them all up. mhm. goodnight.