it is sixty five pm. it is june fourth of the year 2003. it is a wednesday.

there is pain, and it is not in my ovaries it is in my uterus (as elise so polietly corrected me, though i still think ovaries is more asthetically pleasing).

today was an angry day, much in the way a good deal of yesterday was. it's hot. i'm crabby. i'm broke.

today was angry so she went grocery shopping. it's been needed for two or three weeks now. so she went and did it cause nobody else can

[taxi break]

and spent a bunch of money and now has only about one hundred dollars left [cause the bank owes her ten for losing her card and charging her for it].

fuck. temp agency. friday. no choice.

and she still hasn't eaten. just lemonade. and two five cent candies from albertsons. and there is all kinds of food to eat (since there was a severe lack of participation from others). the stomach says maybe and the rest says no thank you. but right now all i can think about is broccoli and there is some in the freezer.

when i came home to put food away i found the potatoes in the bottom drawer had. well. sprouted. it was quite amusing.

i'm finding the anger fleeing slowly with the rest of the day. the sun's going down and it's grayer than it was and the window is opened with the blinds raised [the blinds raised because for two days they have been knocking shit over and i won't have it any more, i tell you.

it's a nice breeze. there's an absolut vodka bottle on my windowsill. [there used to be a currant one my brother found on the side of the road but i stuffed it full of rosepetals and some of them got moldly so i had to throw it out]. i don't think i even drank out of the bottle, i think it was my mothers. or it could have been the vodka in the mudslides the one night with the croissant. if so, funny i have that bottle. funny as long as i am remembering it right and not just making shit up again.

i went swimming at the beach a few weeks ago with brad and jordan and elise. it was four am.

today jon told me in conversation i was a natural athlete. his evidence consisted of several things, one being my balance. i attempted to correct but he said he had watched me walk on several occasions. he's a dork.

but speaking of balance nick and i jumped a fence four times. not only did i jump a fence four times i did it in two different places and one of them involved climbing a tree

and when i say we jumped them, i mean he jumped them and i struggled and he held my hands

and when we jumped them we walked on this trail and we saw the midsection of a blown up orange truck and and then we walked some more and found an abandoned mobile home park? area? it may have been inhabited across the bridge but it was weird and fun and he found some good knobs and and.

there have been all kinds of things that keep slipping by without notice though i want to put them down and keep them safe. but that's how it is. tara came to see me and i had coffee with jason and more importantly i think i found a roommate. more like she found me. but she has great powers and her name is shari and if i can just get my shit together it will be oh so alright and that will be august. today is june fourth. today is only june fourth. nono, i had it right. today is june fourth.

blah blah

okay okay so now i'm really hungry.