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my eyes are tired i say

05 October 2003
5:16 pm

and melissa says to me, sometimes you have to do what you need to whether it would be considered selfish or not. sometimes you need to say, yes you are in pain but you are headed down this path and i cannot help you or i will end up following.

today has not been much of a pleasant day. luckily, the mandatory part of it is going pretty fast. i've spent my lunch break on the computer. i was clever and figured out a way to talk to nick, and having done that, food is better later than it would have been now. i'll go back to the register in a few minutes and then it will be half an hour till we close, and then another hour until my shift is over. i think i'll just take as long as humanly possible to count the drawer i've barely touched.

i'm feeling kind of numb. i started off my morning running and swearing and then came the crying. and all i've had today so far is sugar. two cokes and some reese's. oh, a few bites of left over potato salad. i've got about five minutes more. then again, greg took an extra twenty minutes to get back to his post in glass box (which i had so gleefully elected to take over for him, and i tell you, that was the fastest hour i've had here at this quaint little computer store).

i really don't want to even go back to my house. can't i just forget about it? why don't we run off to louisiana?

shh. go back to work, the day is almost over. don't forget to tuck in the shirt. don't forget to find dr. rodwick's number and insist on the cancellation of the xanax prescription.

and she also said, sometimes the kid gets more like the adult and the parent more like the child. and it's a backwards world. and it's rough. and at some point, you've got to got to got to

you've got to go back to work, girl