i feel so ill [to see you give love and attention at his will]. and not like, duh, your boyfriend is sick and you are not one for restraint.. not that kind of ill. the kind of ill where i have been sick in my stomach since i laid down to go to sleep last night [much later than i had intended; a routine trip to the gas station for my dad ended up in an hour long conversation with sam i am, the gas station attendant. i was held hostage by free coffee and philosophy]. i woke up this morning mildly awake and mildly groggy (a pleasant and expected mix after only two hours sleep) and still felt ill and for some UNGODLY reason thought fast-food breakfast would ease my pain. but no, oh no, oh dear god no, i was wrong. the first few hours of work were yucky and i was thinking, oh lord, i wonder if maybe i should go home or stay or what is the deal and here come the tobacco triplets. three gentlemen of varying ages who want me to look up a TAP they may have had on this computer (but they are not sure because the computer was bought by another friend for the main gentleman and they have not spoken in a year) and everything is all well and good until the acrid scent of tobacco is seeping through my nose and onto my tongue and out my pores. i'm not kidding, i could feel it. it wasn't like he had smoked a cigarette just before he'd come in, or even twelve cigarettes. it was like the man had chain smoked a carton of cigarettes, was wearing tobacco scented cologne and had not showered since seventeen cartons ago. and it wasn't until just now, two hours later, that the pungent aroma has let me be. thank all the gods ever in existance.

so, some food and some caffiene later, it appears i am okay.. i just want to go home now. i am so tired. but there is grocery shopping to do.. and a room to continue packing and elise to see after she gets out of school. is it friday yet? i want to be paid. and sleep.