added: oh yes. the greatest quote. heard through my wall this morning from mary. exasperated sighmoan. "ohh, fuck you, 8:15!" it was hilarious. seriously.

yeah. so i was all:

yeah, i must really have an imbalance of some sort or maybe it was the re-reading old writings.. or maybe it's the face to face or dancer in the dark last night or that i'm in the middle of the giver now, but woo! i was in black soul mode for two days and now i'm in a good mood.. what is this craziness?

and then after picking up my daily veggie sub from louis the deli king (who is moving away, so sad), i am walking back and singing "i never wanted anyone to be so wrong for you i never waanteeeeed stop faallling dooown" and i hear a HONKHONK.. like an airhorn.. much like the one.. my father has on his electric wheelchair... goddamn it all, there he is. and i want to say QUIT RANDOMLY SHOWING UP AT MY WORK, but i don't. i nod and am accomodating and i don't say more than i have to and i am polite and listen to his stories but with an air of urgency-- see my sandwich? i only have an hour. don't you have a massage to get? yeah, okay. bye! no hard feelings, he says. and i don't say anything. because there are not. but i don't think he realises why any of this happened. i'm not even sure we've come up with all the reasons. maybe it's something we don't need to get into. maybe it's something we do.

maybe it's something i don't really care about right now cause i had to stop in the middle of a good chapter when i clocked in this morning, and i would like to spend the rest of my break reading. kthxbye. kisses.