so. so! a story.

friday night i left work angry as a passive little slug like myself can get. apparently, i can be a perfectionist whenever i want. i was asked to do something, called into work specifically to do it (granted, i had offered to come in on my day off since i called out the day before, being infiltrated and all), and spent all of my eight hours doing this task, which is pretty much irrelevant. when i got done it was about time for me to go home but there was still work to be done and it ended up looking like trash. so i stayed half an hour late trying to re-organise it and it looked less like trash but trash all the same. and i was angry about it. because my name was on it, damn it all. planning on walking to coconuts anyway, i had myself a nice angry stomping walk across nineteen, across sunset point. muttering to myself about this and that. crabby crabbiness as i walked into coconuts, down the hall and Oh, Fuck, says i. the fucking ventriloquist is here. of course he is! i am having a bad night and i want to laugh so OF COURSE he's here. great. [let me clarify. mr peter hefty does not have a bad act. it can be quite funny. but when you come to a friday night stand-up show, a ventriloquist act is not exactly what you are looking for. especially the third or fourth time] i call elise to give her a friendly heads-up and go on inside. an aging gentleman was stumbling through his act. and.. it was bad. not bad like the time scott bird fucked himself over on stage, but bad like.. just was not funny. and i'll totally give him credit for sticking through it till the end, because honestly that is the hardest thing to do when you are not doing well. to the point where i was internally begging for the ventriloquist to come on. seriously. usually in situations like those i will do my best to sympathize and find something to laugh at out of respect [or you can call it pity] but. i couldn't bring myself to do it. i just stopped paying attention at some point. i felt bad for him.. but i realised.. hey. i could probably do that. i keep talking, maybe someday i'll follow through.

either way, mr hefty came on and whether it was my willingness to laugh at that point or the second white russian quietly sinking in, it was actually quite funny. he added some new things (and didn't repeat one of his jokes this time ;D ) and it all went over quite well. he gave quite the advertisment for our show in the middle of his, and that was kind of him. said he'd seen shows at second city and what not and we were very funny. it made me smile. towards the end of his set he brought a woman up on stage, a friend of larry's. and once he had her up there he suddenly remembered something he desperately needed that he'd left in his car. and tried to coerce her into staying on stage while he did so. tell a joke or two, he said, it would only be a couple of minutes. but she could not be swayed. he turned to the audience to try to get someone to go up there and they all had the same attitude. i had been getting up to go to the bathroom or something and he glanced in my direction and next thing i knew i was on stage with a microphone in my hand. ha! it was great though. i told my nacho cheese joke (which someone in the audience knew the answer to, of course. i need a new cheesy joke) and didn't know what to do.. one of the drunk guys in the front row told me i should pick up a puppet. so i did. something pink and feathery and as soon as i did i heard a clunk. i was sure i broke the puppet (which i didn't) so i told the audience i'd give them all fifty cents after the show if they didn't say anything (drunk girl did and ruined it for everybody.. my empty pockets thanked her. haha). so i used my hand as a puppet and the drunk guy asked where the refunds were, so i turned around and shook my rear at him. it was GREAT. ahahah. too bad no one was there to see it. when mr hefty got back on stage he apologised and so did i. it was either him or someone in the audience who said i got more laughs than the first guy did. which was terrible, but the guy had left.. so i was pleased with it.

mm. hilarious. being on stage alone is strange. but i could do it.. who knows.