i should be at dennys saying goodbye to tenille. but i am much too tired and i have work at eight fourty five in the am.

this will be the first night in. oh. quite awhile. a week, at the very least, that i have not spent it with a panda in my bed or a pony in his (we have names. we are adorable, damn it). this is upsetting, but convienient.

i don't really have much to say.

i talked to my dad for a spell today, being his birthday and all. the conversation kinda went like:

"happy birthday."
"yeah, i'm doing all this great fantastic stuff."
"you're an asshole."

surprisingly, my brother requested i call and apologise. "he IS your father and it is his birthday." i didn't feel like it, but i did. luckily, i got his answering machine. i can be just as torn between being forgiving and rightfully angry just as much as i can anything else. i had another dream about him last night. i won't go into details. but it probably colors my opinion of him even more. which is silly, because. it is a DREAM. however. these are long abandoned thoughts, in this case, and stacked on top of everything else.

stop. i don't want to talk of such things at this moment.

i'm doing something i said i never would again (did i really, though?). sometimes it is good to go back on your word. today was the first 'day' of 'school', as much as one can have a first day on the internet, and without a math book. after writing this, i intend to check out more about the classes and assignments and things and then off to sweet sweet bed sleep and joy.

for a second it smelled less like a kitty called cleo and more like orlando dorm room. did we a harbor a cat briefly? i think we did. i could be remembering someone else's life, though.

heres to wishes for dreams of sunswept starbeams. what does that mean, hm? i shouldn't have had that mountain dew is what that means. but mountain dew and d&d go hand in hand.

goodnight.