i don't know what i came here so early to do.. whatever it was i don't think i got it done..

unless it was listening to fiona apple to keep myself awake..

last night was the weekly bad mood.. which usually happens when i don't go out to see elise or nick.. because i hate the trailer and i cannot move forward in time to the place where i do not live in the trailer and i have guitars and cheap dishes of varying bright colors and a way of folding towels that is mine, all mine. i can't move forward to that place so i must simply wait. and do what i can. but i slept from eight pm to almost three, on and off.. so here i am.. TOTALLY AWAKE still. sure i am. i will keep telling myself that.

i have been listening to fiona apple because tonight is summer's birthday party. birthday party at tj's = karaoke. karaoke night - alcohol = sitting outside being antisocial. i don't plan on drinking alot because i don't have any money, and quite frankly, am not in the mood to drink.. (yes, that's right, i've turned down free alcohol twice this week, sara's not an alcoholic after all) but at some point i will be called upon to sing.. and. what's that about being resistant to peer pressure? hah. hopefully nick will save me when he gets off work.

hopefully direct deposit will kick in this week and i will have money in the early hours of the morning and then i can give him money for gas.. even though he says he doesn't want it.

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cute.