wake up, girl. you cannot drive to work holding your eyes open, take a really early break and sleep in your car for half an hour and drink a mocha frap with an shot of espresso and still be drowsy. especially since i am not DOING anything. i've slept in my car, i've come back here to fiddle on the computer, i've coughed up a trinket or two covered in internal sara-goo.. i've taken two and a half teaspoons of some clear medicine from brown bottle called amy. that has at least stopped the violent spasming cough that isn't even as satisfying as it is when i am brooding in moisturized air. i'm not doing anything today, i'm just here if they need me to do something. i should do some important responsible frontend coordinator things... before someone catches me back here.

and then, once i've woken up, i should promptly "shut the fuck up, calm the fuck down, and enjoy it." his title as an Old Boy who was trying to make me feel better almost made me feel better than the words he said. if that makes anysense.

shut the fuck up. seriously. but you can't shutup without having said anything first. but now that i have said some things while making serious-face eye contact. it helps me to feel a lot better.

even though i kept him up all night with my coughing and my teethgrinding and my general dependancy.

oh, words. i wish i had time to find the end of this box right now.