when i say i had a good time, i mean it. gainesville is a small place, but it is very full of things. good things made of bricks and butterflies and the place i had my first martini (note to self: dirty = olive juice) and my first time wandering home after last call (note to self: v-word = full of juices). i liked gainesville a lot and not just because everyone around me was very enthusiastic about it.

and i'll admit for a moment as we started driving through the campus i began to feel overwhelmed and apprehensive; i began to hear the words of some of the people around me, the maybe college isn't for you why do you want to go so far away look what happened last times (and maybe they were all in jest but they sunk in somewhere, iguess) . .

i shook it off the best i could, and in the meantime it dug itself in deep and pushed up other tidbits of anxiety. it wasn't pretty. i started looking for answers i didn't know the questions to, and that isn't fair. i feel bad about it still, but it was a neccessary purging of bad thoughts. leaves room for good thoughts, and more of them.

i will do my best to speak my thoughts when i can't quiet them so they don't all come tumbling out in a flood. i look forward to the future with an open mind, open eyes, and an open heart, ohhhp!