and you know, in all this.. deep down, i know. i know that i saw every last bit of it coming. saw it, knew it, fucking wished for it.

when i was little, i knew it was going to end up my mother and i, my father and my brother. i wished for it. of course, things always end up backwards.

then, i knew i would end up alone.

and i can't deny this, i remember laying in bed, crying because i didn't want to deal with it anymore and talking to someone please justtakehim and put him in jail. i can't fucking lie about that. whether i knew it or i dreamt it up or i'm crazy, it was there. one night, two, five?

ah, to hell with you, train of thought.