i feel like i am sneaking around my own head to whisper tricks in my ear, this is how it is, and this is how it should be, hold on to what you can and go on, get to it

cause i know i don't have a choice..

hmmm. i don't think i'll go tonight, i told you i'd let you be, let you swim free on your end of the sea, and i'll just float along quietly... i don't think i can risk the waves breaking overhead, not with this quiet calm i struggle to maintain.. still. i want to go.

maybe i'll just go to orlando. maybe i'll just do my show, as i should.

(she's 19 going on 30.. or maybe she's really 30 now.. it's hard to say; it's hard to keep up with time once it is on its way--except i've been singing those words for awhile and i'm 22, three years closer to.. whatever lies at the next decade mark)

there are more words, but they are all ani difranco (yeah, i'm llistening to ani.. and nelly furtado, too! ha! ....)

its time for more sun, right? i think it is, too.