i like this authorative tone i've adopted when customers and employees alike approach me at this desk and chair. i give them their answers and send them on their way, because i am a busy business woman with many things to occupy herself. ha! not on a saturday morning with no customers. little do they know i'm perusing movietickets.com and sending cryptic emails in broken spanish with translated-by-the-internet spanish to fill in the spaces i do not know.

..for some reason jon just popped in my head. he's somewhere hot right now, extending the capacity of his physical limitations, doing pushups or running or being shouted at. shouting back. i hope it hurts; i hope his muscles burn. fucker. i never did say anything about that, did i? not that i have time now, but. i saw him a few days after nick broke up with me. he wanted more from me than i could give, more than i was willing to give. "the first time i met you, i thought i hope she's the one. HOW IS THAT IN ANY CONCIEVABLE WAY FAIR TO A PERSON. fuck fairness, it's unethical. especially with the friendship i thought we had. i've spoken to him once since then, to see when we could meet up before he went to the army and away from this place forever. he told me i should give his bracelet to someone else. i haven't talked to him since, and i probably won't for a very long time.
and here i thought he was one of the Three. here i thought he was... something special. he was--for so long--and for that all to be brushed to the side because i hurt his ego when i wouldn't fucking sleep with him three days after my boyfriend broke up with me, well, huh. i'm not sorry. not in the least. i'm glad to see it for what it was. i wonder why i thought of him just now, like that. i'm not bitter, i'm not angry. until i think on it enough, and i wonder if he's thinking of me now, as his heavy breath kicks up a whirlwind of dirt and it gets in the eyes with every push away from the earth. i'm not bitter, but i hope it burns all the same.

(yay writing! albeit at work... wait--yay writing on work time! haha. badsara)