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the stick didn't last

27 June 2005
3:06 am

how am i supposed to know if i am doing the right thing or not?

wrong thing, right time? right time, wrong thing? all right, all wrong? nothing is ever first or last, one or the other, right or wrong--all is the same.

i don't need existentialism tonight or the misuse of big words. what do i need? what is it i really, really need?

investments seemed to be the rotating subject of the day. the morning held talk of 401(k)s. the break room was on the subject of trading cards--baseball, michael jordan's rookie card, marvel--pogs, mcdonalds toys. cody (the one with 'inner strength' tattooed on the inside of his arms) was asked if he collected anything. he said he did his best to practice--not just believe in, but practice--impermenance. every so often he would go through and throw things out, for the simple sake of doing so. [i have forgotten about you, oh impermenance].

back to the point, there is no point, there never is a point and i am left with this uncertain tightness in my belly