it feels something like eating a rushed meal of food i didn't really want--feeling that fullness in the belly but not reaching far enough to scratch the itch, far enough to satisfy the hunger--which results in mismatched, misplaced desire..

but that's what happens when you see the friend you used to have, to hold so dearly and sure it's comfortable like it hasn't been so long, but it almost seems like that is all that is left over the years, that familiarity with one another after chanced momentary connections

we said we were glad there were no five year high school reunions. who's gotten fat and who's gotten married. who we've seen here and where and who disappeared into the folds

and it doesn't help that her life hasn't been... well, it's been more of the same, unfortunately. she says she's tired--she wants a better life--and i see it in her eyes much more than she probably meant, in her perfect fingernails & thick eyelashes, in the handcuffs hanging from her pierced bellybutton. i knew it all along and i still find it disheartening.