slipping back into murder by death obsession.. put the music down for a couple of months and kept dreaming songs off 'in bocca al lupo'.. so i've picked it up again and don't want to put it down. looks like it's going to be a murder month. mwaha.

i couldn't sleep last night. no, not just "didn't sleep"; god forbid you misconstrue this as "didn't want to sleep", because that was all i wanted. i tried so hard that i probably tried too hard and my body was having none of it. got into bed at twelve, read a few pages, shut my eyes and stared into the dark, further now and further still, and my old trick didn't work. all i wanted was for yesterday to go away and for today to show up in the blink of an eye. not that yesterday was a bad day or anything, i was just anxious for the next day to start.

when the rain started at 3:30, i gave up. i'd been asking for that rain two days ago, and it took that long to get there.. so i certainly wasn't just going to sleep through it. made some tea. finally beat that stinking cheese bridge secret exit on mario.. and for what? one board and passageway to star road, which I DIDN'T NEED, THANK YOU--DIDN'T NEED TO STAY AWAKE TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO BEAT THE BOARD JUST SO YOU COULD THROW SOME BULLETS AT ME AND CALL IT A DAY. i scoff at your soda lake, nintendo. SCOFF.

tried to go to sleep after this and realised it was utterly useless. so i chalked it up to vitamins, went for a walk, took a shower, ate more vitamins, and came to this here library to slave over this here computer to look for a job.

INTERNET GIVE ME A JOB. NOW DAMN IT, SO I CAN SEE MURDER BY DEATH IN NOVEMBER. even if they're not headlining. pooh.