i woke up today in that vaguely disconnected area. that's what i get for thinking about non-existence before going to bed. think about that, have some mad dreams and wake up, automatically feeling it. no emotion. no anything. we are here and then we are gone and it is all so fast it almost doesn't happen. and what's the point. surely there must be or it is all some cruel joke? except there's no one there to tell it.