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the awakening

12 July 2007
7:57 pm

what.. is really going on?

hello, universe, you are upside down. you are shaking back and forth and whatever slips through your grate, is gone. it goes. shake it, shake it. 'cause once you're done, what remains is golden.

i quit circle k.
i signed up for classes.
i haven't seen elise and i can't--well, i can't stop arguing with michele.
i need to start taking melatonin and i am thinking about considering medication
the radio show is now cancelled until further notice; we would like to take it to the internet, where it really should be anyway.
i'm in love with someone who appears to have much thicker walls than i do. but isn't that always the case. i asked michele that question today. why is it that this one and this one and that one and whichever one are all for it, and i don't really care because i'm not interested--but when i am interested, it has to be so goddamn difficult.
you like the challenge, she said.
yeah, well, i said.
and i'm not going to marty and sherecce's wedding next weekend anymore and i am very sad about this, but my mom is coming next weekend and i will get to spend time with her and go see my brother.
we will go and see other family members but we probably won't stay long, because things are erupting in the way that they do when you poke them with a stick long enough.. and it's not my business to speak, and it's not my business to intrude, but it is it? it's my family. who else is supposed to? and really.. what am i supposed to do? who do you call in this situation? the ghostbusters?
next month is coming and it is almost here and i have never been so anxious for august.

i look at all these things and know they are all for the greater good; this rushing feeling that i am no longer the rock that lets the water wash over me. the river has changed its course and flows in my chosen direction--and the river may be tumultous and chaotic at first.. but being the rock, i will never move, never see..

a;lksjfd. i have an essay to write.