eat your wrenches, blast it all.

it's the end of the month. so i am in panic mode. and i fucking hate it. because i know everything's going to be fine, it's not a month anymore, it's only two weeks--student loans and grants and apparently i am a bloody good salesperson because i have been on the top sellers list at work every day--to the point that i may not even want to go to customer service anymore--

but the point is, these times are not now, they are in two weeks, and i need them to be now, and this causes my brain to do tricks and circles and flips that are unnecessary, and understanding that they are unnecessary doesn't really help at all

but i read my notes to myself here, from this year, and i noticed the cycle and i noticed how things go, and i saw it coming, noticing that it was the end of the month and the eclipse and all, and i said, 'okay, well, here we go' so it gives it a sort of reserved feeling

but doesn't stop me from pouring out all these words in two point five minutes

you know what i need? not so much need, but what i could really use.. is a little stress relief.. you know. just a little.

of course, if you give a mouse a cookie, she's going to want some milk, and if you give her some milk, she's gonna want the whole damn cow, of course

a cow of course a horse of course and more

really though. speak softly in my ear but not too close, or i will catch you and then you will find yourself in heaps of inescapable trouble that you may not want to escape from after all