tonight the goal is to get these crzy dreams under control. if they cannot be stopped then at the least i will make myself enter them, rather watch them like horrible movies

last night there were no dad dreams (probably because i talked to kevin about it a bit last night and released somethings) but there was

the opening of a clothes store and many things i wanted to buy, lots of boring talking here, this is how i know the dreams have me because it is like real life except i can't get in
so we open the clothes store and that's really great and i think something epic is about to happen because i remembered that sidewalk, but no, not a thing

there were some really great boots though

and then a grown up mix of two boys from elementary school came around and wanted to have sex with me and i said, gee sir i'm sorry, i'm moving to minnesota and not for you. he was very upset and wanted to fight me so i beat him up and put him on a chair and pushed him into the street. i went into my uncle's house who was there with a baseball bat and went around locking all the windows.. each.. and every.. one of them

again.. fuck these dreams

but of course he got in anyway and set about launching oranges at me with his own baseball bat. i caught them and threw them back at him.. i don't remember how it was resolved and eventually he went away..

the only jump really happened when i went to some school dance in a place like ny ny.. it was a musical and the songs were strange like sweeney todd. i knocked over a whole shelf of liquor while i was dancing. then i did it again. they ended the dance. i went to the superiors to apologise and they said, well its very nice of you to take responsibility. you understand you now have detention tomorrow and every day from 10 - 7. but first you get one last dance. so a supervisor from pods and i did the tango and there was the closing number.

exhausting. i'm ready for some sleep when i go to sleep, damn it. way too busy.

all day i have been looking for a job. trying to decide between getting a real job or some shitty job so i can focus on writing. and if i get a real job.. what it is it exactly i want to do anyway?

now i will break and i will go set up the room upstairs some more. get the rest of things out of my car. then i will wait for kevin to get home and we will go see funny games or he will write and i will probably do the same and perhaps we will drink coffee.

everyone says i sound different. in a good way.