hey hey HEY listen goddamn it
just because i don't want busy demon dreams from the southside doesn't mean i can deal with this sleeplessness and evasion either
"how am i evading you? i was asleep."
NO NO NO NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO QUOTE MY BOOK AT MYSELF NOW IS THE TIME FOR SLEEP
for HOURS i laid there last night, reciting monologue on top of itself trying to sleep rolling back and forth
between the hours of eleven and five i don't believe i slept at all! and if i did it was a very awake kind of sleep and it didn't last for more than half an hour and i am not exaggerating this

and now, here i am again, i've tried to sleep, i tried not to get up, a task i somehow succeeded in last night, so nice and comfy

last night i didn't get up. tonight, i didn't want to, but i realised that skin and that shape will be there tomorrow and the day after

so no sense in staring at a dark wall, better to burn the eyes on the computer screen, sure why not, why not, why not

now what now what now what? 'fuck the law' sara said. she would go to the arboretum.

NO NO WHAT DID I TELL YOU silence these pleas for madness, go back to bed ladyfriends, there is an interview tomorrow, there is writing tomorrow and then by golly and by gosh we will watch a movie and i will drink the goddamn tequila for which i have been waiting all week

mmmtequila drinking cake building with the frosting on top nighttime activities

and please, please, just a little bit of normal sleep