the dark knight was awesome... lets say it again.. AWESOME

oh god. i won't say anything about it really in case someone actually stumbles upon this, and i know there are a few people who read this.. anyway.. AWESOME

i remember being so shocked hearing about heath ledger playing the joker.. and it couldn't have been anyone else.. i couldn't see him in there anywhere.. hopefully we go to see it again.

we saw it at imax tonight and before the previews they played a powerpoint presentation.. someone proposing to their girlfriend.. kinda cheesy.. totally cute though.

ohhhhhman. so good.

so i've entered upsetting dream psychosis again.. two nights ago wasn't as bad as last night, but i'll get to that in a sec. i was dreaming about aliens.. i was riding a bike with someone else, the sky turned ominously dark.. i was in sarasota and i could see the courtney campbell bridge (?) was blocked off by riot police. we went to this house, the sky was covered in thick clouds, but there was a big square opening. i knew what was coming.. i could see the underside of a big spaceship gliding through the sky and told everyone to look up.. they started projecting newspaper pages across the opening.. then there was flaming rock falling from the sky.. dodging it to get out of the driveway but then i had to save jessica alba. we were all inside trying to call people and of course lines were jammed but once i could get through, i was only reaching voicemails, and they were long strange voicemails by other people, presumably aliens. it was coming for us next. i ran across to a gas station. as i was leaving, these trucks pulled into the parking lot with fake company names. i knew who they were. they wanted to know why i knew about the elephant. crazy aliens.

that one, i can pick pieces from work or exercising or internet before bed.

lastnight/this morning, i couldn't remember at first, just that i was deep in it and i was upset. i sat for a moment to figure it out.

don't remember what happened to begin with, but i know i took a bottle of wine and set it on a counter with the intention of going back. when i did, my dad was standing in the doorway. i know it was the fourth of july or something because i was driving under a lot of fireworks. so i looked inside and my grandpa (also dead) was making out with some lady. my dad said 'can't you just let us live our lives' something about having new ladies now. we were arguing in the driveway. i was screaming at him. calling him names. screaming random words because i was so upset and couldn't think of anything else. i wanted him to feel as badly as i could make him feel.. and that's stepping over the edge for me. i usually go out of my way to avoid making people feel bad AT ALL, but i have the capability to do so within me. and i was unleashing it at him full force. 'i was going to COOK for you, that's why i even CAME DOWN HERE,' i said.

i then went on to yell about how i sometimes wonder if something happened to me as a kid and whether it did or not, my feeling that way was all his fault.

eventually, during all my screaming, the lady and her kids from across the street came over to see what all the commotion was about. i silenced my yelling and smiled with my head held high and walked back to my car. i didn't look back.

then i woke up and realised i was going to be late for work.