you know, it really makes me feel good to know that i am on top of things. i've kept my checkbook balanced (with a few slight errors, but i've been doing it) for at least two months now. that's a new record. i just did it again. i'm on top of everything. i get paid three times this month.

it really makes me feel good to think about the little room upstairs and know that it is in order, know that little table by the wall is fucking adorable, the burnt orange carpet is clear. i can feel the energy in that room.

i can feel the energy in that room because the energy from outside is coming through the windows, in the already dark sky, in the changing of seasons and it makes me feel good.

i am excited to go back to that room, i am excited because it is almost november and almost holidays--formal holidays and super special ones like election day, and bloody novel writing month.

i started doing 'research'.. started trying to 'plan'.. so far has consisted of me possibly selecting the title, one that i had buried so long ago, and finding symbolism for that, that will fit with what i think i'd like to write

today, i feel funny, yes, i feel weird.. but in a magical, special way