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oh boy i clicked on random after the last one, as we all know i so often do and am returned to march of 2004 to read about the day my dad showed up at work randomly, scooting around in his little electric wheelchair, a couple weeks after we'd kicked him out of the trailer or rather, my brother had kicked him out and i went with the flow, as we all know i so often did back then and i have thought lately how all the guilt i still feel--maybe not all of it, but a good root of it--has to do with the fact that i was ultimately relieved by the time he died, looked for it, wished for it, waited for it to all be over, and somewhere i took joy in it, for all of us which is reasonable, given all the circumstances but still is something to be dealt with four years later anyway, so i'm reading this entry from trailer time and my randomly singing ipod sings me bjork songs from vespertine which was one of the only albums i listened to that entire time oh,
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