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19 September 2009
9:01 pm

All the things I might have said in the past couple of days. Yesterday I might have told you about not having morning coffee until noon. I might have told you any number of things.

Today I might have told you something if I'd finished the new layout, but I haven't. Tables (as always) are a bitch and if I'm gonna do something, I'm gonna do it right. There is a layout to finish, music mixes to finish for trading, capital letters to use and stories to start telling, but it is Saturday Date Night, there is a shower running downstairs, a skirt of elephants split at the hip and open between my knees, a bottle of Naked Riesling I've just opened and Ilya on a thumb drive to move to this computer.

We are talking, still working things out, still questioning the future to a certain small degree, but sure we want to work it out. Lots of subjects come up in conversation when communicating my thoughts during this process.

It is hot on this landing, in this crooked somewhat room without walls or doors; my skin is bearing dewdrops and I'd almost rather I were alone in this house tonight, with speakers that reach all the rooms and the porches. Alone with the music, the heat, the bottle of wine and maybe something else. The way it used to be...

but isn't that the question I'm facing now? Careful not to romanticize trying times. But which would I rather? Love, A Life? (quote appropriated, twisted) Or the darkness and uncertainty that transpires at the end of all relationships?

I think too much, we all know this.
For now, let Blanca tell me "believe or don't"
let the tones wash over
my skin
damp
and buzzing