Drinking coffee at 7 pm? I should be punished, damned, ejected from society. What scandal. Ha. I asked Kevin to make it hours ago thinking the warmth would feel good to me. But, unable to drink it then and unwilling to let good coffee go entirely to waste, it is in front of me now, in a glass instead of a proper mug. I am sipping at it rather than swallowing it down because as much as I prefer not to let the brew go to waste, I am still a sickling, almost more so than yesterday.

The sick retains its grip on me; still in the chest, somewhat lessened in the throat; and the added pleasure of the ache beneath my belly that drew me from the bed and directly into the tub before I had any sense of the time of day. I even returned to the tub not long after getting out, it was hours before I was able to eat and consequently, take medicine, so I laid here on the couch, a moaning bump on a log.

I'd like to have recorded some noises today but that would require outputting of energy, not the noise making itself, but the moving of equipment to the library room, and I barely have the energy to type this out. Lucky I'd moved the desktop to the living room before I was ever sick. Now I just need to get better so I can move it back upstairs and discontinue this couchlife.

I'm finding it easier to type when I lay on the couch like this, all stretched out, with the keyboard resting on my thighs, but in this manner it is harder to look at the screen, so lets hope I don't miss too many mistakes.

I don't have much else to say. I've just been watching a lot of movies. The Hours on Friday night, which helped return my Virginia Woolf love even though it is not the best of movies. Also my Julianne Moore love because she's just so adorable. Also my fear of eventually drowning myself, which you may find a little cyclical, but with my current standings in this life, it is always important to determine whether I am on a path that will lead to eventual drowning in order to gain self respect.

Remember, these are foolish thoughts, as drowning would be one of the last ways I would choose to die, no matter how romanticized, it would be awful, terrible.. difficult.

And it's not about that anyway.

Yesterday we watched Lost In Translation and I cried a great deal afterward due to wanting to avoid the things I am afraid are on their way to "eventual", because I do not usually watch movies as Kevin does, from the perspective of the audience or the filmmaker, I lay the reel over my own life and sometimes notice too many similarities, too many shadows in the silhouettes...

too many shadows... that doesn't make any sense. ha!

the point is, I've tried my hand at writing and I've gone through my photography phase and I should probably keep writing BUT I've never been to Japan nor did I go to Yale.

I would totally fall in love with Bill Murray though.

Last night I watched Atonement, which I wouldn't really bother with unless you've got time to kill. I remember Katy I used to work with telling me it was pretty good and there was some incredible hotness involved.

Which was true. James McAvoy is dreamy, so is Keira Knightley (even if she is terrifyingly thin), all their lustful longing stares are thick and syrupy and the scenes including the "three minutes in the library" as Robbie refers to it later are basically all that's worth watching.

It was entertaining enough and I'd watch it again if it were on, but it's never as good as those moments in the beginning; it tries to be novel in its form but succeeds only in small ways and ends up cheating itself in the end. The movie doesn't commit to its own resolution (this is the end, but not really, this is); it justifies doing so but only by removing itself from the story, thereby subtly removing the fourth wall, not by breaking it outright, but circumventing it somehow... which I am usually a fan of... I just think the movie would've been better served by committing to one of its choices for an ending, rather than trying to give us both.

Sick days, Sundays, movie days. Earlier I watched Spirited Away which is almost a better Alice in Wonderland than Alice herself. If you, mysterious reader I'm talking to even though I know all of you and know you've seen this movie, haven't seen this movie, you should immediately. I forgot Ubaba's sister turned the giant baby into a fat mouse. That's my favorite part of the whole movie. Watching the fat mouse and the tiny bird. HA

Now. I would like to watch Pi and The Fountain back to back as I have been wanting to do forever, but Pi is an extremely elusive movie. My copy disappeared years ago; I'm pretty sure mister CG has it, back from our times together. Kevin's copy has also disappeared, John's got the case but not the DVD. Hopefully he can find it, because I'd really like to watch it.

If not, who knows, who knows, who knows what.

[girl, interrupted. that's what. katie put it on. i haven't seen this movie in a long time..]