Damn it, damn it, damn it, hell. This is bullshit.

I actually managed to fall asleep around 10, but I've been up since quarter til 2. Bullshit. I even took this workout supplement thing Kevin takes that is supposed to help with a full 8 hours sleep. Went back to bed around 230, got up shortly thereafter to use the toilet, was in there for awhile and still awake so I decided to sit in the tub a minute, thinking it would relax me. 60 pages of The Rum Diary later (only book within reach) I went back to bed, about 20 minutes ago, to fruitless efforts. Perhaps I should've stayed longer than 20 minutes, but I can tell what's what.

And there was rumbling in my tumbly, so now I'm eating this goddamn delicious cereal again but I'm NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT OK

I am looking forward to my delicious breakfast at this cafe I've been obsessing over for the last twelve hours, just as I looked forward to the dinner I had yesterday at Panera, where Kevin and I talked about healthcare and how sometimes I am humoring him, then he made fun of my crush on Larry David and clear love of older men who are not "follically blessed". I told him he is a fluke and should learn to respect his elders (even by three months).

Now.. I don't know what. Attempt to go back to sleep for an hour and a half? My plan was to leave the house the same time as Kevin, a lighter bag and perhaps one more fashionable than that backpack (can't go traipsing into a Victorian cafe looking a fool, else I shall be removed from Chesterfield sofas) a laptop in tow and a resume to send to the many people who could use my unique skills.... though I suspect if he realises I've been up all this time, he will be reluctant to wake me up. But if I keep sleeping, I will tell him, then I will never break this horrible cycle, never re-enter society and never dance at my born again cotillion