Oh man, what is really going on? What is happening to me? Joyous gloriousness, I suppose. One night, I turned down sex in favor of Battlestar. Last night, instead of watching Battlestar I said: Babe, let's just drink our tea and go to bed.

!?

You can run after satisfaction, but satisfaction must come from within. This is what the teabag said to me. And what I am finding to be very true.

Taking this issue of health seriously means I have much ahead of me but will ultimately lead to all the changes I've wanted to enact. Sleep seems to be under control. Food is next.

Money seems to be under control. There's been a lot of shopping in the past couple days--shocking in itself, the things I choose to buy and the things I wistfully put back on the shelf; I've also become very picky--but the whole time there was a running tally of numbers in my head, I was very aware of what money I could allow myself to spend and mostly stayed as far away from that as possible. In seven hours at the giant mall, I bought three pairs of shoes! That's it! Not a stray earring or thigh-high pair of argyle socks!

I am really amazed at myself and how I feel these days. There is struggle, there is even fear, sometimes there are steps back, but I feel balanced. I feel fantastic.

The housemates went out dancing at First Ave last night. Some thing where all the rooms were open, DJs and so forth, it was the reason we were at the mall in the first place, looking for things to wear. I really wanted to go. But after all that walking around on Thursday, I was exhausted yesterday. I couldn't walk up the stairs without laying there for 20 minutes afterward. Annoying, but whatever, I went with my instincts and it was probably way wise. Keely said it was super crowded, and with how easily overwhelmed I was yesterday, it probably would've been a disaster.

Plus I had new pajama pants I'd been aching to wear. ha ha ha I am in such a good mood today.

I don't want this entry to be stupid-long since I am just spitting words out so I will close it up. But I just want to share with you my joy for the like-cowboy boots I found (in addition to hot, comfortable heels and respectable tan heels that are work-appropriate for the job I don't have--all on clearance), two pairs of jeans and a jean skirt that actually fit (also all on sale), and a goddamn spring trench. I AM ASSEMBLING A PROPER WARDROBE, DAMN

GROWTH IS COOL? yeah.