I wish I had a laptop so I could take The Holy Mountain into the bathroom with me and watch it while I lay around in the tub. Or a digital copy of the movie, I wish I had one of those. Then I would put it on my ipod and watch it while I drink tea and lay around in the tub.

Leaving the house turned out to be a bad idea. That's not entirely true, there's no way to tell if these things are triggered by what I think they're triggered by. Most importantly I am learning to remain calm when my heart-rate jumps up and starts blaring its tribal rhythms, to breathe, to move into Zenlike meditative state, move slowly and deliberately when I must move at all, even this typing feels like too much right now