now because this song is on (how did you always know when to run when to love, when to rage and when to keep your cool) and the one after it will soon be on (duhnduhnduhn) and we are likely to repeat it again and maybe once more after that (we can love forever and never pass away) (oh when that song was so new to me and i'd play it over and over standing in front of the speakers as loud as the time of day would allow. this is a memory that never gets old even when the song loses its flavor. savor your flavor. keep it close, keep it real. some memories are not to be swept under rugs. some memories show up in dreams even though you thought they were insignificant and would never return. i had a dream about stuff last night. i won't go into it. but it was one of these dreams where i am in some room and all the stuff i've ever had was there. STUFF. stuff i've gotten rid of, stuff i haven't thought of, stuff i haven't seen since i was kid. it was all there. usually i am in some room i had in my adolescence. this place was new. actually, it was old. i said i wouldn't go into it. but there it was a hotel. this is the third night in a row i've dreamed about tony, or at least the third night he's been in my dreams. i was in a dark wooden room full of all this stuff, i was lost in a hotel as i have been for three nights in a row, lost or late, not in a hotel. i said i wouldn't go into it. but this was the darkest room of stuff. storage. do not steal from it. it will eat you, even if you try to trick it. later, after i'd found my way to my family and my closest of friends who were all tired of waiting for me. once i'd figured out where they were and was in a bustling courtyard. i looked up to see a giant general store. they sold a lot of stuff. i was afraid. until i realized there was the dark and then there was the light. this was the light. i didn't go into the store. i don't test boundaries anymore. i said i wouldn't go into it and i mostly haven't. i haven't blinked while writing this. this isn't what i meant to write. i've been out of my head for about an hour. it's almost time to press repeat on this song. 1:30. 1:50. 2:17. press return.)