The Story:

Once upon a time I was fired my shitty-ass collections job. Then I was unemployed for many months.

During those months I tried to go to school and failed after a couple of weeks, due to a scheduled trip to Florida to see my brother get out of jail. When I came back, Kevin and I had some (very valid) problems. Partially as a result of that, but also because it simply the time for it to happen, I went a little crazy. I mean like, I Lost My Shit. I spent all my time in the bathroom wondering how I was going to kill myself. Then I went to the doctor. Then I freaked out some more.

Then my pulse stopped running at 120 beats per minute and things started to get better. But I was still unemployed and still not looking for a job and still filled with anxiety.

Also I took some pictures and played my guitar a lot.

Then I went to Chicago for two weeks to hang out with my mom. As planned, though much later than originally planned.

This is not the story of how I got the job, but rather what happened before I got the job. As evidence. Supporting my claims.

During the entire period I'd feel like an asshole for saying I Will Get What Is Coming To Me. I knew then as I know fully now, that I needed to go Through It. The obstacle is the path and sometimes you must go through the Woods in order to get out. Otherwise you meander around the edges, thinking you are out and really you are still in the bushes, man. You're still in it.

Anyway. I felt like an asshole because there I was watching Twin Peaks or having video game marathons or noodling around my guitar for days on end and saying THIS IS ALL FOR SOMETHING. With total faith in my words --if it ain't true I don't say it-- THERE IS SOMETHING AT THE END OF THIS. And we will come together at the proper time. Not fate, I don't believe in that (I think). But as a baby takes time to gestate so too does a person, so too does an idea or any Creation of a Thing. anyway, I am running off my tracks I will start over.