I had something to say yesterday, something very specific to say and it all got shuffled under some papers

I didn't get a life, but I did get a job. I started it a week ago and today at lunch I will tell you the short story of how I got that job

but it's been a lot of go to work, come home, do one thing, go to sleep

I am trying to learn my balance

also that 'one thing' is usually cleaning

because I have become obsessed with housecleaning

especially with the dishes on the counter being in the dishwasher and the dishes in the dishwasher being in the cupboards

coincidentally at the same time that the other four people in the house have all decided they want all their dishes to be on the counter

everyday my back hurts from dishwashing & vacuuming or shuffling papers

and it feels so good

everyday I am in bed reading Siddhartha by 9/9:30

today I will go upstairs earlier because I didn't want to wake up this morning

I will be done with that book by the end of the week, maybe Monday (I only get through a few pages at a time, unless I encounter dialogue and that keeps me awake)

I might just restart it when it is over, read it over and over before bed until I get bored with it

as part of an evening ritual. ritual is very important to me

on the subject of "normal"

for so long I fought it. I fought it for so long that when I wanted it

it felt impossible to grasp and it has been a long struggle

and I feel like I am finally achieving something like it

I mean, I will always be a Weird one, oh that sara she is so odd

but at least I can finally wake up in the morning and go to sleep at night (hopefully this is not one of those short lived episodes) and do the dishes and hopefully grow some hanging tomatoes

anyway, once I get more comfortable at work and with my duties it will be easier for me to sneak on and spit out little blah blah blahs and la la las for you to poke at

but lunch yes, lunch today, it is a date

I tell ya. I have been on an asparagus kick and it may well be taking over my avocado kick for one very specific reason. every time I eat a damn avocado lately it spits all over me. avocado on my skirt. avocado on my shoes. AVOCADO EVERY WHERE. EVERY TIME.