YOU TOO CAN BE AN OFFICE SUPERSTAR:

Now that we have organized by various digits and dates:

1: Notice, with great amusement, the emoticon made by 1: , how cute it is in this standardized font and wonder if it will look the same once you post this entry. Be amazed that you have never before noticed 1: 's cute chubby little cheek.

2. Remove staple from packet of papers, mainly because its current orientation does not please you.

3. Locate line item relating to your company. Highlight.

4. Check diaryland.

5. Check email.

6. Respond to boyfriend through company email.

7. Remove from packet, on average, 6 out of 8 pages that have no correlation to your company whatsoever.

8. Curse distributor for their waste of paper and lack of adherence to your company's policies in submitting credit memos.

9. Curse your own company for not being large enough to force your policies on the distributors.

10. Curse your god(s) for good measure.

11. Apologize to god, remind them you get carried away sometimes and set up a date for lunch.

12. Restaple packet on side that is more pleasing to your aesthetic.

13. Corral removed staples, straighten stack of refused papers.

14. Repeat until giant stack has been dealt with.

15. Prepare to resort by an entirely different criteria.

SUBROUTINE:

1. Read the words "Stop Eating Poop. 12 PER CASE".
2. Die laughing