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and then Kevin reminded me how well he knows me

05 May 2010
11:10 am

I cannot tell you how happy I am to be able to blow my nose. My ears pop and it feels like my head is draining. I could be miserable--I hear no robot noises but there is still the effect of the conch up to my ear, the greater silence enveloping my head, makes me feel as though I am flattening in space or changing shape, blah blah, I CAN BLOW MY NOSE

I can, however, tell you, while I am generally fond of the word "nibble" (I often have "problems" with words that are "cutesy")

I CAN TELL YOU THAT I DON'T LIKE THE WORDS NIBBLES. In reference to a treat or a snack. "Chocolate Mint Nibbles." "Apple Nibbles." It makes me twist and turn and retch in my rolling chair.

No. It makes me mildly uncomfortable. The word that elicits the above reaction is "nummies." DO NOT. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. CALL ME AND TELL ME YOU WOULD LIKE TO ORDER SOME NUMMIES.

I don't give a shit if you have a private label and your treats are called YUMMY DOG NUMMIES or [DOG RELATED PUN] NUMMIES (names in this industry seem to follow three guidelines 1.change your s to a z 2. change your words to numbers, where ever possible 3. be as PUNNY AS POSSIBLE -- I would cite examples but I would hate for someone to google their choice nummies and end up with me as a result, then have cause to call me at work and shout NUMMIES in my ear, or worse, look at that weird girl from the company every one calls "Soho's" even though that's not how it's pronounced, it's short for a longer word, the "j" doesn't make that noise

I have been writing this in pieces for an hour. I have lost my purpose. The point is I AM NOT A DOG. DO NOT TALK TO ME LIKE I AM A DOG. Some of you dog people are endearing and some of you are TOTALLY CRAZY. LIKE, TOTES. TOTES CRAZEBALLS(z).

Anyway, what? I had some other things to say, this was supposed to be short and concise even though it wanted to be random but it is is turning out.. taking forever.. can't focus brain.. ha ha

Kevin and John and I watched Lost last night. Comments about that aside, there was a commercial for the McGruber movie. John said he wished there was a feature length McGyver movie, starring Richard Dean Anderson. I said, "What about a feature length McGyver movie.. and a Stargate movie.. starring Richard Dean Anderson." To which he said: "No. I did not like Stargate starring Richard Dean Anderson. However, Stargate the movie starring Kurt Russell. That I liked."

I noted that Stargate the movie starring Kurt Russell also starred my boyfriend James Spader. Then I said I wished I could watch Secretary and I drooled on myself. John said he was pretty sure it is on our magic media box. I said that was nice but there was no way I could watch it in the living room. I'd have to be private somewhere. They both laughed. Of course. I said it to be funny, but I was totally serious. As evidenced by my reaction several moments later when John decided to express appreciation for James Spader's character's ass-slapping technique, which he then described and I then shouted I AM SO SERIOUS WE NEED TO STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS. I shouted. I'm not making this up. Luckily then Lost came back on.

These are the days of my life, folks. Take 'em as they come.