I am drinking coffee and eating lo mein for breakfast. so... what.. lo mein for breakfast.. is appropriate.. stop looking at me... I DO WHAT I WANT OKAY

Obviously I am feeling better. Risen from the dead, so to speak.

A few weeks ago I had a dream that I bumped into someone on the street and found out they used diaryland. (Yes I dream about diaryland on an almost regular basis I thought I asked you to stop looking at me). Now as random and nearly impossible as that occurrence may be, I think that it has happened in an inverted and slightly skewed fashion--it seems as though someone I've been reading on diaryland is also someone I have noticed on the street. ODDITY. Also, awesome.

Then I had a bunch of violent, monster type dreams; squishy tentacled things, squishing around and looking scary; giant nerve ganglions [tentacles] filling and spilling out of enclosed spaces like stationary cars--stationary cars [chariot] are scary just like stationary escalators--and me, in these dreams, the viewer, with no control, no story to involve myself in, just death and rot funk nasty, which is to say WTF BRAINS

SO LAST NIGHT or this morning, whatever, there was some kind of terror at some point still, there was a loudspeaker announcing PLEASE SIT ON THE FLOOR IN A STABLE POSITION because there had been some kind of disaster, a tornado or earthquake or something (we'd missed this part) and we were now meant to sit and wait and watch the news while chunks of buildings showered down upon the beach in an organized and scheduled fashion. Such weird things make so much sense when I write them out. So that was weird all on its own but THIS is not the most important part! NO SIR YOU BOB.

PRIOR TO THAT there were some goings on. A Robert Downey Jr character was being called by some creditors. They got in a fight. He was in the room with me. He was also Kevin, I acknowledged in the dream. He had blue eyes. My brother was there and maybe my mom. We were in a bedroom, unfamiliar. Some Bad Men came in. They hurt my brother. They shot me in the shoulder. (I am often shot or stabbed in this shoulder.) I picked up a man and I swung him around by his damn hair and I kicked the shit out of him!

Yes! Control! (this is a common theme, the fighting, if you know)

THIS IS STILL NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT PART, I'M GETTING THERE.

So after all this fighting, RDJperson is lingering around, obviously because he loves me forever.. but he disappears for some reason. I am looking out the window. Looking at the window at the town. This strange futuristic and yet mid-century styled town. People walking all over. Women in various ages of dress. Futuristic. Fifties. Victorian.

Well, damn, I said. I must be dreaming. Nonchalantly. WHOA I said. fuckyeahi'mdreaming! So I immediately went to the door. If I'm dreaming then I'm gonna go explore this shit!

Just as I was getting ready to exit, this RDJ person came back up the walk. Asking me where I was going. "Let's go drink high balls." He said. Ridiculous.

We sat at an outside bar at a blue table. Big, metal, round, like the one we have on the back porch, except blue instead of green. He was chattering about something and I said LOOK LISTEN I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.

and he said "What?"

and I said, with great excitement and importance, "I AM DREAMING. THIS IS ALL A DREAM."

he got an upset look on his face, as though I'd ruined everything. and the dream started to slip away, as dreams do when you realize you're dreaming

"NO." I said. and I put my hands on the table. "LISTEN RDJ, you have to help me. You have to help me hold down this table. If we can hold down this table," the table was starting to float and pull away, "Then I can stay in this dream. Otherwise I'm going to lose it!"

and we pushed our palms on the table and it wobbled and struggled but eventually it relaxed and settled and I was able to sip the strange drink he'd made.

"So what you're telling me," he said. "Is that I'm in your dream. I'm just a figment of your mind."

He was very sad. I'd ruined everything. I tried to assure him I wasn't controlling him, I didn't know he was going to come up the walk, for example. It doesn't work like that.

He seemed somewhat reassured, but didn't want to stay. It was too weird, I think.

So instead Kevin and I were in strange building collapsing

but at least we were still on the same beach, the same neighborhood

and I
to some degree
have regained some of my dream control
well
truthfully
I've never had anything to that extent happen
I've made a thing or two happen, I've realized I was dreaming
but I've never called it out to its dream-face
fought that strongly against the slipstream
and won