today would have been better if (but today is not over) I hadn't started it two hours late to work. I tried. I dressed. I ate, against my better judgment. I attempted to move and my body responded by emptying itself of all materials and dumping what was left of my body in the tub. As soon as I was able to move without vomiting, I came to work.

So, my routines have returned to me, and yes, I'll go to the doctor and say, tell me Doc, why my womanly cycle results in at least two hours of stomach-bug symptoms; more importantly, why it stopped for six months and is now returning. also, give me a lollipop.

The last doctor I went to did not give me a lollipop. She gave me a wrist brace and a prescription for muscle relaxers, which I took once and damned. I have no tolerance for drugs anymore. I slept, yes, but spent the next day sleepy, too. I don't have time for that, for this. This cramping in the legs when I wake up. The stinging burning pulling in my hand elbow arms where ever. NO TIME.

and yet it continues to plague me. PLAGUE I SAY I OWN NO HOUSES

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recently in the dreamstate... DAMN! I can no longer remember the first part. I should've written this earlier. fuckers. I almost typed. fuckstars. I don't know why. That's for you.

anyway. what was the first part? oh yeah I can't remember. but then I went to jail. and I was like, "fuck this, I'm gonna stay in jail, at least I can get some writing done in here." and jail was just this place where I was surrounded by women wearing blue and we were all milling about in this large area behind bars, but there were cheap little stores and weird hallways...

that's not what jail is like! haha I was going to tell my jail story but my wrist just shouted at me and now I have to go tell something to the man in the bakery!

THE REAL WORLD SERVES NO PURPOSE OTHER THAN TO DISTRACT ME FROM MY WHIMS