We did watch it. First I watched the first two episodes of Weeds while he read his comic book and half-watched. Then I put it on. Encounters At The End Of The World. Exciting. Ice. Antarctica. The booms and space-noises of seals under ice. Professional dreamers. Werner Herzog is a strange and funny man.

Today I have so far been successful in not turning on The Sims. Hooray. This is sad, but true. I like to control little people, okay? So what. Instead today I intend to create things. Return to that. I have been giving myself a break [a break from nothing] because of the state of things. Moving in less than a month. Need to pack. Need to straighten out the money. This house sucks all creative energy from me. I am done with it. I am done with this space, I am done with the stairs. Soon, things will be different. I feel it returning. I haven't played my guitar in months. My long nails have finally started to crack. Soon it will all return and the winter will come [already I am done with the heat; I wish for six seasons instead of four, let's alternate frequently; hot cold warmsun chillintheair] and I will be delighted to put on clothes, let my hair down and dance around the wooden floor

what am I even talking about. anyway. I am caught in this cycle:

An idea!
Good idea, let's do something about it!
Think about idea
Find reason to tear apart idea
Lose all idea-love
Sit, dejected
Do nothing

repeat.

I am growing a collection of half-assed ideas. We're supposed to be overcoming the half-assedness, aren't we? Isn't that what we're doing here?