yeah you go back. you back ten years and you tell that girl huddled in the shower climbing out the window burying her face in her blankets trying to get home through the mirror

you go back and you tell her you're from ten years later and tell her she lives in the land of golden leaves and fuckin' turtlenecks? she doesn't even wear 'em. tell her that and tell her she wears an apron and bakes cookies while she listens to a recorded sermon from the church she just joined. tell her that shit, and tell her she loves the shit out of it. tell her that and then whisper real sweetly that she's playing community organizer and shaking the hands of people who know what they're doing and remind her that if she still had that job she wouldn't have been at all these meetings, offering her services--

wait, don't tell her that, tell me, remind me.

yeah i'm a little crazy right now and yeah i'm about to take a not-nap where i try to sleep off this exhaustion for approx 3 hours but really spend time cataloging all the things i need to do between now and tomorrow morning and tomorrow morning and tomorrow night ...

ah, a proper almost nonsensical moodswing entry. my, how fine. anyway, shit's great. i am occupying myself, and soon enough the future