my bullshit saga continues. I hate complaining. or, I hate having something to complain about. I hate people asking me how I am, and then feeling bad for me, or everyone suddenly being a doctor.

I remember why I never got into pills, and remember why I wanted to stop using drugs habitually. I feel.. I feel like I trailed off after that and didn't write anything for half an hour. My brain is difficult to use, to say the least. So I've taken an impromptu vacation from work -- one that I'm not paid for, and while my shifts are covered, no one is actually doing my job -- and haven't been able to do shit with it except for lay around uncomfortably and write one blog post. My accomplishment gland is about as dried up as the houseplants were before I watered them.

Well, I did put my poetry book on Amazon. That is a thing that happened. I don't expect to sell a lot of copies, and don't plan on really promoting it either. But it felt like a thing that needed to be done. So I did it!

And I started a list of 101 things to do in 1001 days at dayzeroproject com. It will end three days before my thirty-third birthday, which seems significant somehow. So far I'm up to 52 items on my list, but would like to come up with some that feel like actual challenges. Some of them are, but those are writing based, and that feels like mostly a matter of doing a thing for a long enough period of time. I want to think of some things that are personally challenging. But I'm not sure what!

I don't remember what else. I just want to close this tab.