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didn't I, my dear

26 May 2015
1:21 am

As you've come to expect, I need to sleep.

It's a false Sunday in that Memorial Day means an extra day off.

Betsy still celebrates Memorial Day on May 31: the original date before, she says, it was changed because people wanted an extra day off.

I don't work a schedule that has any shortage of time off, so... it shouldn't make a difference but it does.

It's Monday, after 1 am, I'm 32 years old, and drinking a juice box and stepping with soft feet through someone else's house. Quietly, I don't want to wake him.

Not that it would matter--he falls asleep in the time it takes me to roll over, and usually then, so do I. He sleeps easily so waking him wouldn't be a bother, and it's not much different than being asleep when he doesn't really wake up. He talks to me when he's asleep, he pulls me closer when he sleeps...

Mom will be here on Sunday, to stay. She and I are linking arms and keeping destructive forces at bay. Back to New York twice this summer. First to the city for Desidad's wedding, then I'll come back. Then Moms and I will take a roadtrip to update to see Betsy and the trees. Then we'll. . . ?

We had a lot of visits since I moved into the apartment last summer. The trip to Florida. And she's been here two or three times for long weekends. I knew once I.. went first, it would be easier to get her to do the same. Take that thing you think you'll never do..

Cadence left in March. Took off to Oregon with her family. Coincidentally, I got to be in Portland to greet them.

"Coincidentally." It makes me feel like my friends work behind the scenes for me; or someone, something.

I went to visit. It's one of the places M and I, as we figure out what kind of lives we wish to live, have talked about moving, and I have a friend there. A few friends, but one in particular. Someone with whom I have shared .. coincidences and parallels in the last year. I guess I could say we locked arms against the emotional turbulence. Our experiences weren't similar, but complimentary.


It's not like I ever let myself have easy choices. Still, I really set this one up to be spectacular.