ah, I'm such a fucking idiot and there's nowhere to go, no one to see
I shouldn't have stopped the one med when I did, but I did, and it was nice to continue the feelings of fierceness like maybe I'll keep standing up for myself and expressing my feelings
Then it all turned angry, so angry, everything I've ever swallowed, current events elevated by an ancient pressure system that built from never learning to express anger or bad feelings - it could hurt one or both and is it ever my place, or turn
---and then I fell asleep while writing. That's pretty neat.