disconnected, disconnected.. and with only four hours of sleep, it's hard to separate myself from that, feeling. it's a finger trap, I feel it more. four hours of sleep means nothing happens all day, which means I feel terrible in my mind, and I can't separate myself from that either. of course, now that I am in bed in the hope I would just sleep... now nothing's happening. I have no trick to lift me up right now. I don't know how I ever used to function on no sleep (or not enough), and for so long. either I've aged out, or that behavior created this. column a, column b. I wish I had a remote control for my own mind. god, I'd make millions

and give it all away

-x-

it'll pass it'll pass it'll pass