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please, february, go easy

02 February 2021
10:14 am

I had a dream she came back. She was in a band called Kid Cupid, which apparently is a band, but I'm not sure I've ever heard of them. I suppose the radio might have played it. She had white paint on her hands. I tried to find a special dress for the occasion.

I was going to leave a note for no reason, but they're closed. I guess I could email her and see if it works. It seems silly - we weren't friendly for that long a time. She emailed me once in 2014 or 15, but I'm pretty sure I responded like a bonkers person and felt dumb about it after. Ah, well. I hope she's alive.

I hope everyone's alive.

What's new? I had a couple productive days, and then I went into a hole. Oops. Yesterday I finally opened a window because I joined a poetry group for a month, and it demanded I open my window and write about it. Then I went to an overdue doctor's appointment where I had to lay on an uncomfortable table and bend in uncomfortable ways to just generally be UNCOMFORTABLE IN MY BITS for too long a time and now my back is all hecked again. I mean, more than usual.

Anyway, today's poetry prompt is more than specific than yesterday's and I'm bored. "lol."

I had some skyrocketing anxiety yesterday while I was sitting in the office waiting for the doctor to come back (I almost bolted at one point) and I'm still kind of riding that. So... cool.

I really need to fix some things in myself, goddamn it.

Next question - for my next escape, do I want a hotel room with a fancy bathtub I might be able to comfortably sit in, but only for a night or two - or do I want several days at the beat palace or some other cheap place? Which is more important - luxury or time?

now I will watch this video an unnecessary number of times. It's been awhile. The first time I saw it, I think I sobbed for twenty minutes.

then I get all riled up and do this one

even though I don't think those masks are accurate