should I try to spend a bunch of money on Interpol tickets tomorrow? Or wait and see if this Sunby Day Real Estate tour is for real? $50 is a lot of my money. I could save it for things like grow lights for plants if I had more surface space in this dim room.

l don't know if I can even go to a concert. Dizzy, disoriented, in varying degrees, kicked into overdrive two months ago. Head full of fuzz. The ear doc I saw years ago said it wasn't her business. Eye doctor says I'm fine.

Can't look at scrolling. Can't look at lights. Shouldn't really drive. Shouldn't keep my head tilted or turned too far in one direction. Can't process too many sounds at once. Too much treble or too much bass.

I have a lot of doctors appointments scheduled. I probably can't go to a concert.

Look at my brain. Look at my gut. Hello, do your hormones have a moment to talk about their future?

The end of last year was very stressful. Last year had a lot of stress. I burned myself in Philly in the summer. In December I couldn't eat, and I was dizzy. Then I was dizzier because I couldn't eat.

I couldn't eat and people mentioned that I'd visibly lost weight, and I haven't done anything about it, but I wish they hadn't done that.

Also, dead matriarchs.

I should go back to the used bookstore to look for volumes 4-6 of Sex Criminals, because 1 and 2 were very good and tomorrow I will devour number 3. I am also trying to read regular old books since screens are a goddamn toss-up, but my success all depends on line spacing, the language, how tired I am..

It's on my mind (lol) because of family and I know I don't have it, but if I did have dementia I'd fucking kill myself.

Anyway, maybe some plant lights, maybe more books. Maybe buy some music instead of streaming it, if I can't go to concerts.