once again, a two week old entry sits half written in an open notepad file and many things are happening that I will miss out on recording. so, the actual shorts:

:: we bought a house in the suburbs and I am mourning leaving the city, but it is a mighty mental health house with a sunroom that will blind me in the winter, a shed to turn into a hut, every plant, woods, arable land, a kitchen I want to cook in, my own room... coming to find out the quirks now that I'm in there cleaning - it's a hard market when searching zillow is like what I imagine tinder to be like, except that instead of going on a first date, you're getting married

:: I'm getting married. after we picked up the keys on Friday, Dan gave me a lovely and perfect moonstone. we've been talking about it for awhile - signing the paperwork in the next couple months, telling everyone we're engaged, and having a bizarro wedding at the end of next year - but I told him I required song and dance first. he did it in the study where we've had all our important conversations, especially when we were first getting to know each other, and random fights about the living room robot. it was very good. "ALL IN."

:: that was Friday. yesterday was Monday and I had a small freak out while at the house by myself. the goddamn suburbs. not far from the city, but goddamn it.

:: then Dan tested positive for covid. I took two, just in case I fucked it up, and my repeat today and I'm still negative. I spent six hours at the house today though - listening to the radio on my record player machine and cleaning doorknobs - and I didn't freak out until it started to get dark, and the bed delivery I was supposed to be waiting for turned out to be bunk.

:: all contractors, inspections, appointments canceled, and packing has come to a complete stand still. I am living liminal between houses and phases, with most things I need being in a box at the opposite house

:: I should still finish that other entry. it embellishes some of these thoughts and started to cover other sort-of recent things like grandmothers, and recent things like the lamentable tragedies of the younger uncle

:: we have irises though, and I saw a golden finch